Pet Bereavement. Honouring the Grief of Losing a Pet.

Introduction

When a beloved pet dies, the pain can feel just as deep as losing a human loved one. It is a very real and deeply felt loss for many people. It might feel overwhelming and lonely. Whilst it’s normal and healthy to grieve for your beloved pet, this topic is under discussed and overlooked, because “It’s just an animal”. The truth is that our pets are our family, our friends, and companions. They see us through life’s joys and struggles. Losing them can leave a hole in our hearts. If you’re feeling this kind of grief, I want you to know you’re not alone. In this blog, I’d like to explore why pet loss is so significant, what the grieving process might look like, and how you can find healing as you honour the memory of your animal friend.

The Depth of the Bond

The relationship we share with our pets is unique, often free of judgment and conditions. We create a deep bond with them. Their unconditional love and daily presence create a connection that only other pet people can explain and understand. Our pets greet us at the door with excitement, comfort us when we are sad, and share in our daily routines with quiet companionship. They become part of the rhythm of our lives. For most people pets aren’t “just animals” but family members and sources of happiness and comfort. As a dog mum, I love the simple joys of tail wagging, long walks and cuddles on the sofa. For many of us, pets are also a source of unconditional love and safety. They witness our lives in ways that few others can: our laughter, our tears, our quiet moments. No wonder that losing a pet can feel like losing a part of ourselves.

Common Reactions to Pet Loss

Grieving the death of a pet can bring up a mix of emotions, some of which might surprise you. It is very common to experience sadness: “They are gone forever”, guilt: “Did I do enough for them?”, relief: “At least they are not suffering anymore”, anger: “It shouldn’t be this way, it’s unfair” or feeling lost: “What do I do now?”. It is normal to feel all the emotions. The are a testament to the depth of the relationship you had with your pet. These feelings are all valid. It’s a loving response to the loss of someone who mattered deeply to you.

The Unique Nature of Pet Grief

One reason why pet grief can feel isolating is that it’s not always acknowledged in the same way as human loss. You might find that friends or family don’t understand the depth of your pain. They may unintentionally minimize your grief by saying things like, “You can get another pet,” or “It was just a dog.” These comments can feel dismissive and may make you reluctant to open up about your feelings. It’s important to remember that your grief is real and deserves respect. Losing a pet is losing a relationship. Give yourself permission to feel the full weight of that loss.

Finding Your Own Way to Grieve

While grief for humans is openly acknowledged, grief for pets can often be dismissed. But you need to honour your grief in ways that feel authentic to you. Grieving the loss of a pet doesn’t follow a straight line, and there’s no “right” way to do it and there is no timeline. Each person’s process is different, and that’s okay. Here are a few ways you might find helpful:

• Create a memory box. Keep your pet’s favourite toy.

• Create a ritual or memorial. Light a candle. Plant a tree.

• Display a photo in a place that brings you comfort.

• Write a letter to your pet. Allow yourself to express your pain, your gratitude and your feelings.

• Get creative as a healing outlet. Paint your pet. Create a scrapbook as a loving tribute.

• Talk to a supportive friend. Share your memories and feelings with people you trust.

• Talk to a therapist. It can help you process the loss and feel less alone.

• Let yourself feel. Allow tears, laughter, numbness. It’s all part of the journey of grief. Don’t rush or judge yourself.

Why Seeking Support Can Help

Sometimes, the weight of pet loss can feel too heavy to carry alone. Talking to a therapist can be validating and healing. As a therapist, I can offer unique insights on how to process this grief and honour the bond with a pet at the same time, in a compassionate way. I can hold space for this unique kind of grief. I can even add EMDR treatment, if there is trauma connected to your experience of loss. In therapy, you have a safe space to honour your grief without worrying about how it might be perceived. You’re given permission to tell the story of your pet, to feel the love and the pain, and to begin to find a path forward. I understand how grief can be complex and layered but I also know how profound our connection to animals can be.

So Much Love

I know how much comfort and joy animals bring. My dog, is a source of grounding and calm in my life, reminding me to slow down and find peace in the present moment. Losing that presence would be a profound grief. It’s through that lens that I approach this topic. Not just as a therapist, but as someone who knows how deep these bonds run. Pets are so special! What’s interesting is that our pets help us with emotional regulation, soothe our nervous systems and they are the embodiment of the unconditional love.

Moving Forward with Love

If you are in a difficult place right now, missing your beloved pet and feeling their absence, please be kind and patient with yourself. Your grief is an expression of the love you shared, and that love doesn’t end with death. Grieving for a pet is a process of learning to hold the love you still carry, even as you learn to live without their daily presence. Over time, often with the help of a therapist, the pain of loss softens, and the memories of the pet can become a source of love and comfort, that it is easier to cherish. The routines that once felt empty may slowly fill with new meaning, and the love you shared stays in your heart.

Final Thoughts

As a dog lover and a dog mum, I understand how hard it is to be away from your dog for long periods of time and how hard it is to lose a pet. They mean so much to us and they are such a big part of our lives. I believe they deserve to be talked about with love and be acknowledged for the love they give us. I hope this blog offered you some comfort and support. My aim was to validate and normalize those difficult feelings for you.

If you’d like support as you navigate your grief, I’m here to help. Together, we can honour your feelings and find a way forward that respects the depth of your loss. Your pet was your family. And your grief is a natural, beautiful part of that bond. You deserve support and understanding as you heal. If you need to book a session to look into this a little more, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.